To my dear mathematician friends

Theorem. A cat has nine tails.
Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.
Teorema: Um gato tem nove rabos.
Prova: Nenhum gato tem oito rabos. Desde que um gato tem mais rabos que nenhum gato, logo ele deve ter nove rabos.

 What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin...
Qual é a diferenca entre um matemático e um filósofo?
Res: O matemático apenas precisa de papel, lápis e um cesto de lixo para fazer o seu trabalho - o filósofo pode trabalhar sem o cesto de lixo...

Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.
A vida é complexa: ela tem o seu lado real e o seu lado imaginário.  


"My life is all arithmetic", the young businesswoman explains. "I try to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying..."
Minha vida é toda aritmética, diz a jovem mulher de negócios: Eu tento adicionar ao meu salário, subtrair do meu peso, dividir meu tempo e evito multiplicar...

A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space.
"How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk.
"My head's spinning", the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?"
"Well, it's not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in arbitrary N-dimensional space and then set N = 13."

"What is Pi?"A mathematician: "Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."
A computer programmer: "Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision."
A physicist: "Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005."
An engineer: "Pi is about 22/7."
A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"
(nao tem como traduzir...)

From the website of the Math department of the University of Alberta
http://www.math.ualberta.ca/~runde/jokes.html